This wonderful book:
Lewis wrote that 'the gift' has stages:
First, the experience of the gift is given.
Then, we suffer gratitude. And while we feel this massive and sometimes painful gratitude,
[perhaps the distance between our now and the now of the gift],
we labor to bring ourselves up to the level of the gift. After our labor is complete we can contain it. And then we can give the gift too.
Isn't that nice?
So now don't be so hard on yourself after you're given loving presents.