Words behind the Gold in Effulgence

Jacob wrestled the Angel! And the Angel is overcome.

Jacob was on the road when he ran into a man that tried to stop him. They fought through the night. Turns out the guy was an Angel, and he realized he couldn't beat Jacob, so the angel touched his hip to weaken him, and said Jake you gotta let me go. But Jacob said, "Yeah right! I'm not letting go until you bless me!" [Genesis now...] The Angel said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared." The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel.

Ok! So here's some background on the painting, should curiosity strike or perhaps tap you gently. Here are the words behind the gold:

Love will not betray, dismay, or enslave you, it will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be. My heart was never pure. You know me. [Mumford & Sons, "Sigh no More"] The stars got poured into the sky out of a magician's hat last night, and all of them have fallen into my hair. Some have even tangled my eyelashes into luminous, playful knots. Wayfarer, you are welcome to cut a radiant tress that lays upon my shoulders. Wrap it around your trembling heart and body that craves divine comfort and warmth. I am like a pitcher of milk in the hands of a mother who loves you. All of my contents now have been churned into dancing suns and moons. Lean your sweet neck and mouth out of that dark nest where you hide, I will pour effulgence into your mind. Come spring you can find me rolling in fields that are exploding in holy battles of scents, of sounds- everything is a brilliant colored nova on a stem. Forest animals hear me laughing and surrender their deepest instincts and fears. They come charging into meadows to lick my hands and face. This makes me so happy, I become so happy that my rising wink turns into a magic baton. When my soft-eyed creatures see that wonderful signal we all burst into singing and make strange and primal beautiful sounds! My only regret in this world then becomes: That your shyness keeps you from placing your starving body against God and seeing the Beloved become so pleased with your courage that His belly begins to rock and rock, then more planets get to leap onto the welcome mat of existence all because of your precious love. The friend has turned my verse into sacred pollen. When a breeze comes by falcons and butterflies and playful gangs of young angels mounted on emerald spears take flight from me like a great sandstorm that can blind you to all but the Truth! [The Gift by Hafiz translated by Daniel Ladinsky, "Out of God's Hat"] They change your name, they change your face, and try to hide you from the human race. But still you broke through and spoke to me and said follow me and you will see. You say follow me, follow me, follow me and you will see. [Michael Brown, "Hymn"] Is it so hard to believe that you're the one I need? Is it so hard to receive this love I have to give- I give to you. Don't complicate it. Don't anticipate it. Celebrate it. Celebrate it and let it go.You ask me how I feel? You want to know is it real? Is it real? [Michael Brown, "Is It Real?] And She knows that She can trust you, because She's touched your perfect body with her mind. [Leonard Cohen, "Suzanne"] We all are onward, onward, speeding slowly, surely bettering, Life, life an endless march, an endless army. The world, the race, the soul- in space and time the universes, All bound as is befitting each- all surely going somewhere. [Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman "Going Somewhere"] By now the initial upset and mourning have settled but she was a treasure uncovered and now a treasure once again buried back into the everlasting universe. [Tarynn Wiehahn, "Treasure"] There are children in the morning. They are leaning out for love. They will lean that way forever. [Leonard Cohen "Suzanne"] I see the love in your Brother's eyes and the love in your Mother's cries. Sister don't let go. Sister don't let go of us. [Mumford & Sons "Sister"]

I put those words on there nice and clean in cursive (as I entered this into the Masscribes Exhibit and wanted it to look like I could write alright) and then went to feeling what images ought to go where, and when I painted froggie and traced a circle behind his head to make a circle for the sun, it gave me that goosey feeling to see that the words within the sun were "dance, effulgence, of sounds, deeper." And so had to name the piece after that. I looked up the word "effulgence." It means radiant splendor. Is the sun the radiant splendor of sound? And does that make hummus holy?

Leonard Cohen. He is wonderful, huh? Tarynn posted a video from his Live in London concert (wow) on her site TarynnO.com. After hearing that I listened to the whole album a few times. There's this great part between songs where he says, "I've studied all the major religions. But.... cheerfulness kept breaking through." and everyone giggled.

Effulgence of Sound

The Sioux woman is named Laura Owns the Fire. Her picture was taken (like her land, language, and culture) by white guys just before World War One.

The painting isn't exactly real- what with the white lion who doesn't actually live in the wild anymore. White men shot them. Then there's the San Pedro flower- the American guy that grows and ships that to people just got raided and jailed by our federal government. Then there's Laura Who Owns the Fire- who knows where her line is now- what with the 22 battles between the US and the Sioux. Probably dead. Then there's the frog- one of those mass extinction species on account of water pollution. But we still have the Sun! And Brother is he workin' it. I hear even in Alabama they saw the auroras this week. From spaceweather: "The sun is waking up from one of the deepest solar minima in a century, and the solar cycle seems to be rapidly gaining strength. Forecasters expect a new "Solar Max" in 2012-2013 with plenty of aurora storms between now and then. Stay tuned."

Do indeed!

Elementary, my dear Watson!

No, not Emma Watson!
The guy in the book...

Yes- more like that.

Elementary, my dear Watson!

Steve and I went for a walk in the elements today. We walked up to a little fox in the field, who was sitting in the dry grass licking his little feet. We walked towards him, his back to us, and his sweet little furriness did not mind us, he just went licking about as the sun shined on his head and he laid in the sand and the breeze moved through the oaks and the maple trees. He is so cute.

Steve said, "Trees grow tall towards the sun. They need soil and water. Do you think part of dying in life is dying to trying to be someone special? Look- they just stay right here."

On our way home he held my hand and said, "Let me show you his den," and we walked over to the shallow hole where fox lives. I was surprised! So simple! No furniture or anything! I said that before thinking- maybe he would have a little blanket in there? But no. Just enough room to curl up and go to sleep. I wanted to have him over and give him a burger or maybe a slice of pie, and pat his head while he eats. But he doesn't really need anything from me.

Which is the great thing about the elements. They have their own length of reality. I hear that when you are a magical person and a powerful person you can ask the elements to do something and they will. I sat by the river the other day and asked the water why was I born a human? And the water went by and by, and did not say anything, nor stop what it was doing, which was flowing.

So I was driving on the highway wondering about the Periodic Table of Elements.
Check out the Noble Gasses:
HELIUM hexagonal, from natural gas and air. Greek for 'Sun' (helios)
NEON is from liquid air, cubic crystal structure. Greek "New"
ARGON from air, cubic structure. Greek "Inactive"
KRYPTON from air, cubic. Greek "hidden" (kryptos)
XENON liquid air, cubic. Greek "stranger"
RADON from the decay of radium, cubic.
Radium is number 88, Symbolized by "Ra." Radium is also the heaviest alkaline earth metal! But don't touch it or get near it. Even though it glows in the dark and people thought it was curative so that companies added it to water in the early 1900's, it is actually treated by the body as calcium and gets put into the bones and then eats away at the marrow. Not helpful.

But neat! All very neat.

I was thinking about how humans have hankered for certain elements, dug the earth deep for them, and want more but there's not always more to find.

It's interesting, isn't it?
That perhaps the elements will limit us.

It's elementary, dear Watson!

Fairy Flower Friends

They're both wearing the Fall Collection here.

Don't Let it Bring You Down

Really, don't let it. Joy is the ace that trumps every card.
The Book of Angels says there are seven tiers of angels around God. The first six are in bliss. The seventh tier angels apparently suffer because they have to interact with humans. Any of us humans can appreciate that. Do you suppose that we could bypass the tear of the suffer ring? Or at least not get into a traffic jam there?
Sometimes people can't see angels' faces because they're too bright. That's ok, though.

It's true that we do get stuck around here. I mean, take chickadee for instance. He was excited to find the seed house hanging in the air, and he squeezed himself into it. It seemed like a good idea at the time...but then he couldn't find the hole that got him in, nor a way to fly out.

...so he flapped his wings a bit and made some noise. And you know how the saying goes- knock on the door long enough, and someone is bound to open it for you.



God, the infinite eye, is able to see all, and all able-to-see's originate in that I. So focus on your abilities! Focus on your ability!

Uncle Jim is coming to town

Right now-ish! Here's the poster:

Aurora and what Teddy said

Before we left for South Africa this February, I made two pieces. I forgot to show them to you! The first here was per request of Steve Ziegler of Boulder, Colorado "Something to brighten my day when I see it each morning."



Samer Jaber in NYC asked me to make a calligraphy piece for his brother, Ronnie. This is his favorite quote. Clicking on it will open it, and clicking again will enlarge it.



I heard "Mysterious Ways" on the radio yesterday. What a great song. Now I'm listening to Achtung, Baby!

9.10.11

That's what it is!

I'm down here in Pennsylvania with Pop-Pop and Mollie. I made some dinner tonight, and I'm gonna tell you what: that gravy that comes in a jar is pretty good!

Pop-Pop came home today from the Rehab place and he swore he'd never climb a ladder again. He said, "I swear on a stack of bibles that I'll never climb another ladder. Why I wouldn't even climb a stack of bibles!" We saw lots of people with amputated legs there. And I'll tell you one more thing today- having legs and arms is a fine fine thing indeed. Very fine! We all counted our blessings and came out with a higher figure than we had going in.

I fought the blog

and the blog won. I fought the blog and the blog won....

Finally took the blog down three weeks ago! And lo, here it is again. Dern thing. I'll spare you the uninspiring details of internal and interpersonal angst, and suffice to say that I'm sorry for yanking this away without any sort of goodbye. In the future, when I feel complete with it, I'll just leave it up here. O! My kitty's home! Alabaster just arrived at the door.... ok I'm back. He didn't come home last night. Steve and I called for him, but he was busy with his late night kitty escapades, which sometimes include eating mice whole and regurgitating them whole- all wet and ratty- on our doorstep. I love you, Alabaster! He's like a little black lion with his great fuzzy flag of a tail. He just presently finished eating in the other room and came beside me and yelled out some meows and rolled on his back. So I rubbed his belly. He likes to know he's adored. I mean, who doesn't! He just went into the kitchen to talk to Steve. Now he's back at my feet squinting his eyes and purring. It's very difficult to write when the kitty is such a lovey beast. Anyway! Anyway! I'm sure there was some sort of important point to make here, unlikely as it may seem.

Hmm. Well, no, no there doesn't seem to be a point. But if I do find one...

o wait. Yes now I remember! Read some of a book, Illuminations, that I wanted to share with you by a Frenchman named Rimbaud. The name "Rimbaud" was chiseled high into a stone pillar inside the pyramid of Luxor about a hundred years ago, though not by him- he never went to Egypt. Here's one small bit from the book:

From ILLUMINATIONS

"The sight of him, the sight! and the old boot-licking and the penalties null and void when he comes.
His day! the abolition of all blatant and restless sufferings in music more intense.
His step! migrations more far-ranging than the invasions of early times.
O he and us! pride more largehearted than lost charities.
O world! and the clear sound of up-to-date adversities.
He's known to all of us and has loved us all: let's, this winter night, from Cape to Cape, from uproarious pole to the castle, from the crowd to the beach, from look to look, our energies at low ebb, announce him and see him, and send him on his way, and down under tides and high in deserts of snow, go after his sight- his breath- his body- his day-"

This from the notes in the back of the book:
The real poet, he writes to Paul Demeney, "Makes himself a seer by a long, immense, and reasoned derangement of all the senses." in order to become the instrument of higher powers that long to speak through him. The poet can transfigure the drab "real" world into the paradise that shimmers, precariously, right under the skin of mere brute appearances. This is what Rimbaud means by "illuminations." An "illuminist" is a person who can transmit light because he enjoys and possesses light himself. Rimbaud knew that occultists have always taken the sun to be the symbol of universal creative energy. Swedenborg says that God appears in the heavens as the sun because he is the Divine Love by which all things of the spirit exist, just as by means of this solar light all natural things exist. When a seer has transformed himself into pure light and has placed his own mortal will in direct touch with the voice-tones of divinity, his words will be magically transmuted into a luminous new kind of language that will change life itself! His powers are now unlimited because he has become one with divinity. He's now a creator in his own right....the first duty of man, according to Levi, is to perceive full the significance of what he's able to experience and to utter (to "utter" is to "make outer") Then humanity will glow in the dark like stars and angels. That's the burden Rimabaud was laying... in Illumination: "I'd made a vow, in absolute sincerity, to bring him back again to his primitive state of son of the Sun."

And from Adi Da:
"This is not a place of comforting. Only those who realize that are fit to love here."

Steve and I are going to give it a go anyway. We married each other! It was just completely fantastic in all the ways that wonderful is. Our friends and family were here (o happy day!) and we danced and sang songs and ate cupcakes and smoked a peace pipe. Here's Aly the beautiful flower...






And I had to include this picture from Steve's Bachelor party. Before they left in the RV headed for Massachusetts, Steve and the guys were all raucous and rowdy. I heard a bunch of times, "Hey what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" accompanied by chest thumping and tough guy walks and all that. Steve got home really late that night, and in the morning when he woke up I asked him as he was fresh from sleep, "Did you have a good time?"

As he opened his sparkly eyes cozy in his pillow he said, "Yeah! We went to the spring and drank so much water and then when we picked up Ryan at the farm, Sarah fed us all blueberries and vanilla ice cream!"

a spark

One day our technology will catch up with our knowledge, and we will be able to back up every practical recommendation, now called mystical, with the precise life cycle of a neuropeptide. And we shall say, "This certain thought construction, often put as 'I know' or 'It is this way' causes a secretion leading to calcification in the brain and limbs. When this hardening takes place, the nerve endings are plugged up, so that one cannot feel." But the cure will be, sure it will be, to be as a child in a dome of kings and queens, walking across a Heart of such magnitude that we cannot know it, except when we come to a precipice, a crevasse, or a great river rushing gushing over, and awe grips us, awe overcomes us- and the Heart of this place beats for us, and our hearts are aligned to the greater pulse, the governing silence, the end all be all peace, which is love beyond, beyond, and beyond again.

Windy June

Yesterday Steve said we were going for a bike ride up the road and we'd see what the tornado did. Wow. There was a lot of this: Scott said, "The forest got... a... buzzcut." It did. Before seeing the crushed houses and splintered trees, I saw a little someone sitting small and still in a bare tree. Mr. Ruby Throat. I think he may have been a bit dazed, because he let me walk up to him before flying off. Maybe he lost his home?
Now that the warm weather is here things are growing. Remember how last year bunny dug a hole beneath the rose bush? It was a new bush and didn't have enough time to flower last year- but it is now! Am so pleased to be seeing this Persian Yellow. And smelling it! Chrysanthie says it smells like sunshine, and Sarah says it smells like honey. Heather's been smelling it too, and I smell coriander!
Also, I worked some more on Gracias Madre in the kitchen...
I like to look at her today especially.

Original illustration by Jon Marro for Gracias Madre Restaurant in San Fransisco

She so nice.

Peace be with you.... :)

May Mermaid Monday

a drawing...

Yesterday being Mothers Day I was inspired to find this picture...

This morning I went for a walk, and on my way home by the Millpond there was a black and white woodpecker and a robin above the woodpecker in a bush by the water. The robin flew away but the woodpecker stayed. I said to myself, "Woodpecker likes me." And then I thought- but then again, he has been banging his head against a tree all morning. Some conclusions are hard to make.

Once I hiked to the top of St Andrews Seat in Scotland, where the grass was green and the wind was cool and the sun was warm. Yellow flowers bloomed all around and I went to the edge of a cliff and straddled the craggly rock to look at the green valley. Everything was like peace and a bouquet of flowers to the heart. I heard bagpipes playing, wondering if I really did hear them? Searching far with my eyes there appeared in the valley the tiniest figure playing on the wind.

Cardinal and Friends

Here is Cardinal. This is a present for my dear nephew, 6 year-old Michael, who loves cardinals. He sent a note he wrote, "I miss you Ant Shanny. I like youyr art it is beautiful and pretty I love it."

Chestnut Hill nursery had a craft fair night so I made a little set-up there on Friday. After painting this Steve read up on bluebirds. Bluebird couples wave their wings to each other when they come home. Gosh that's cute. We had a pair in the sugar maple, but they're gone now. Apparently European sparrows (who live here too) chase away the native bluebird. I'm going to get the bluebirds some worms at the hardware store and we're putting up the house I'm decorating for them, and that might make it easier for the bluebirds to live here.

Here are my friends Cindy and Gay Marie: photographer and jewelry-maker, respectively.

Janet and Sarah came over yesterday with a tea party in hand.

Sarah said let's make smiles with orange slices...

Last week I canceled the cell phone. This afternoon my computer died! It will not turn on, nary accomplishing even the blue screen of death. Am on Steve's laptop at the moment, but not to fear, I get the hint. Peace in peace out! :)

Ready aim wait

"There are thousands hacking away at the branches of evil to one who is at the root." -Thoreau

Thousands of archers poised and ready at the battle line. One longbow takes aim from the perimeter, a specialist. The lines of men shoot erratically to the sky, and arrows return. Patience aims at the heart of the beast, watching each move. Not shooting wildly, he pulls back in readiness, waiting.

Mornin' Birdees

This morning I went for a run, which is a walk on the hills. At first the sun was shining its early morning shine with some orange in the tops of the trees, and some yellow warm that makes a face feel loved. Over the brittle green bridge over the brook by the goats, and past the town dump and the graveyard, which despite their names are very nice places to pass by... Past the woodpile up on the hill where the waddley woodchuck lives. The woodchuck has a face like a beaver and a tail like a raccoon, except not as striped. And when I passed by the other day, he sat between two logs and watched me pass with his goofy teeth sticking out. I chuckled at him, tried to coax him out of that big log pile and even though I was friendly, he didn't come to say hi. But back to this morning's walk. A robin was first in the front yard. Robin with a burnt sienna belly. Robins dip their beaks into the soil and eat the worms. I read once that a robin can hear a worm wriggling underground, and that's how robin finds that worm. Good listening skills. A robin belly is like a roasted sweet potato slice- a warm orange surrounded by caramelized feathers. Sort of the way the sun looks in pictures from space. Sort of the way I wish I could roast a marshmallow, but it turns grey too quickly. Down the road I went this morning and after running a while and forgetting about all the good reasons there (clearly) are to turn around and go home, eventually I was too far from home to turn around. So on up the little hill and down the little hill and cross the brook again~ and the thought- I didn't even finish the thought, but I will finish it here- I said, "Hey, I wonder if my little sparrow buddies are flying." And I hear a "Yeep!" Much more confident than yesterday, when he was crying panic on the power line. A little sparrow crying, such a pathetic thing. I have heard a sparrow cry a most sad cry, and that was a tragedy for sure. But this little sparrow, yesterday, I will tell you what happened. Walking down the little hill and across the brook and up to the old white house, a cry hit my ears. Very nervous kind of noises. I look up, and then further up, to the top of the old house. And there where the power line meets the roof, was a sparrow- almost too fluffy to be a sparrow. Such a big fluffy body. "O do you remember?" I said to m'self. New baby sparrows have down on their bellies, but their wings look normal. And then finally I could understand his most nervous peeping and chirping that was not too pleasant to hear. I said, "You'll do great! You're meant to fly, it's ok, you'll do great. No doubt about it." And he continued on to tell me that he was all the way up here, and he did not (most definitely not) want to get from here to somewhere else with this flying thing- it might not work. We went on like that for a while- you'll do great, you're a flyer- but I'm nervous- and eventually he got a little more quiet, a little less piercing and a little more warm in his peeps. On I went a few more paces, and there amidst the magnolia tree buds were his brothers and sister- three squat sparrows with fluffy bodies, and one sleek mother bouncing here and there, who had certainly done a fine job there.
So on this outing today when I thought, "I wonder if my sparrow buddy...?" before I could think that I'd thought it he peeped, "Teep!" from the big white house, sitting on the gutter now. Having some air of pride about him. "Look at you!" Such a fluffy guy. He didn't say much, sitting next to his sister on the gutter, being generally well, and I was glad he said hello. I tilted my head back to see a black bird on the wire with a circle of dry grass in the mouth. Soon she flew into the gutter, right next to sparrow guy. Sparrow hopped away from the nest builder, hopped hopped fleetly like a little bunny to the crest of the roof. Just a sparrow, and a baby sparrow at that- when you're a sparrow you have to run away or hide from anything. I thought of "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it." But a knowing like that- how could we fathom an awareness like that? Infinite depth, infinite breadth, and all the ways there could be to know the tiniest feather and the turn of stars across heaven's heaven.

After the big white house is the Stafford Street steep hill, where on the left side is a hill garden in which lives more sparrows, and they came out to say that they were building their house, and sparrows build houses that are pretty wild, you know, sticking out here and there the way the actors of a Midsummer Nights dream crown themselves with garden hats that are human spun; sparrows build a bit like that. One year in the hydrangea sparrow nest, I saw some of my hair, a ribbon, and dried flowers woven into the nest- a dainty taste they have. I nodded my head to sparrow, and as I did a female cardinal flew by and alighted on an apple tree, where perhaps she was building her nest too. Maybe it was already built! They have their babies on the early side, I think. Onward then as woodpecker goes a whack a whack a whack in the woods and cold clouds cover the sun. Woodpecker is hard to see but always there going a whack a peck about, as perseverance is. Not always visible but still a 'goin. Keep going, good friend, says the silent wind through woodpeckers. With my precocious bird I tap your shoulder to say keep going and have a little faith. Running and running and running along, I was almost finished, almost home, and two bright cardinals, feeling exhilarated themselves, flew by my side, flew by the brook through the bramble, friends of bright red inferno, or passion, hey Good Friday. Two cardinals and a good man from long time ago, may he be blessed.

Moon is cold gray rock. But she is great in her steadfastness. Do you know what? There once on earth were no flowers. In the Cretaceous Period, flowers appeared. And when the flowers appeared, then hummingbirds appeared. And bees. And that just goes to show that the whole world is magic.