The Fountain

After The Golden Thread
Dana said, "Look for shit in the mail. You've gotta see this."
So The Fountain arrived. And I watched it.
And now I have to say too- Oh my heavens- you've gotta see this.

Truly, you've gotta see this.

Aronofsky!
He made a movie of Air and of Sky!

Mr. Grangus

Theophilus Grangus
Master of the STRANGEST
He lives within the winter grasses
An' blows his snow upon the masses

Theophilus Grangus!
Master of the Strangest!
Won't you do us a precious favor?
Send back yu sister-
She has better behavior!

Royalty for All

I made a tube of vanilla lavender! Look and it attracted a Stevie Bird! He fluttered away after this picture was taken- I hope he comes back!

I love luscious scents! It makes me feel like royalty! And we are. Now we have running water and toilets, baths and showers and such. Remember how in the Middle Ages we had to watch where we were going on the street for fear of a chamber pot being sloshed over our head? And how everyone smelled waaaaay worse than body odor, and how there were insects in everyone's hair? Eww!

When I was living in a place I was embarassed to be living in I pretended I was a princess! I pretended I was the only person in the world that had running water. I pretended that when I woke up to the sun it was the sun that was coming to wake me up. "Wake up, Shani, I'm here!" I would walk past beautiful houses and smell other people's roses and talk to the rose and tell it how lovely it smelled. Sometimes I'd put my feet in the river and fall asleep, knowing there were cars rushing by... and one voice would say... maybe there is a job for me... and another voice would say.. but I am a princess someone has to smell all these roses when people go to work...

Once when I was two my parents couldn't find me. Eventually I was discovered in a closet eating a tub of butter. My Dad said, "Shani! Shani, what are you doing in here?" And I told him, "I'm bein' sneaky."

In kindergarten I had a role in the school play as a snowflake! My Mom and Dad got me a pretty silk and lace nightgown for ladies and Mom tied it up in a sash so that it fit and flowed around. After the play the school guidance counselor saw me in the halls and said, "Ooo! There you are, snowflake! What a beautiful dancing snowflake you are!" The amazing thing is that she kept saying it! Years later I fell down on my bicycle. I sat all skinned up on the sidewalk, and who should pull over but her, and remembering me somehow she said, "Come on, dancing snowflake, I will give you a ride home." As Steve and I have been cooking I've been thinking about the visions of life that other friends have held for me, held with me. I feel so glad to have been called a dancing snowflake. I feel so grateful for that man in the kitchen whose eyes sparkle and who says, "I'll get the dishes, you go say what you want to say." And for all the special people around, you know, us holding our visions for each other. Feeling so much for what is, what we are, and I want to say Thank You!

Illusion versus Reality/ Reality verses Illusion

*

An

illusion
alludes
to what has
eluded
us.

*

Who painted this?

elude

Etymology: Latin eludere, from e- + ludere to play

2 : to escape the perception, understanding, or grasp of

al·lude
Etymology: Latin alludere, literally, to play with, from ad- + ludere to play:
1 : to make indirect reference alluding to an earlier discussion

il·lu·sion
Etymology: illusio, from Latin, action of mocking, from illudere to mock at, from in- + ludere to play, mock
1 a (2) b (1) : perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature

The Birth of Pegasus and Chrysaor from the Blood of Medusa (c1876-1885) by Edward Burne-Jones

One moon for the list.
There's many heading to town, so mind the traffic.
Turbo is for safety- not just the brakes.
Please don't hurry. Please don't delay.

Picture of Jesus

Jesus has that sun behind him. The sun is like condensed fire, and I think what he was doing when he was being nailed to the cross, while simultaneously feeling compassion for the people putting him on there, is that he was affirming the long-time sun he shared with his executioners. In an incredibly convincing physical reality, he remained identified in the eternal realm. And that radiance opened a tunnel of remembrance for the people around him. His radiance was like a fast fire that burned through the underbrush, burned a fast line through the forest clear across to their sun. Like, if we all have suns behind our eyes and they can ignite each other- his sun was so bright it just ~woosh!~ lit and lit!

And I think the reason there were so many saints around him- or whatever we call them- so many people with suns behind their heads too- is that it was inevitable. He was like the lighter I have that can light almost any candle. If I turn the lighter up all the way it has a big strong flame, and even if a candle has its wick stuck in the wax or something, the flame will melt the wax, and the wick will begin to burn. And if the wick is already in good shape and ready to burn- all it needs is the touch of fire and it burns. That's just how it happens. The sacred heart is inevitable like that.

It seems natural that we ought to try and be like that- do our best to make our sun shine. Dana and I were saying to each other, "I've tried hard to make myself grow and all the growth that's really changed me had nothing to do with anything I tried! One day- something changed, and it didn't seem to have much to do with my trying." Sometimes I put pressure on myself to be better. For better or worse, I don't know.

He did say it was okay to be a little bird and sing, "Sun! Sun! Sun! Here he comes!" Or a flower. Anyway, I love him, is what I'm trying to say. And I'm going to stop trying to be like him. And just cherish him.

But, um, the fig tree thing. If anyone we know is a fig tree... Fertilizer! Stat!

Medieval Lavender

I was thinking yesterday about the life of a Medieval peasant. There was the bubonic plague that made life especially precarious. There was little food in the winter- 'twas common practice to boil leather and eat clay for a meal. And most families slept on a straw mat together with fleas. When a guest came over, it'd be a polite gesture for the husband to offer his wife to the visitor to sleep with. Hospitality!

This morning I popped out of the tub and was stretching in front on the mirror, watching the top of my belly beat with my heart. It kind of reminds me of the tree frogs on the glass door-- watching their little bellies flutter with their so fast heartbeat. We got the beat!

I had wanted to tell you- the glove makers in France were renowned for their immunity to the plague. Do you know what they did? They cured the inside of every glove with lavender! Lavender is naturally antimicrobial, and when supplies were low during WWII, it was used as a disinfectant in European hospitals. Lavender has relaxing properties and helps babies go to sleep. You can just smell it when you like, steep it in tea, bathe in it, or make an oil of it for skin. If you want some lavender, email me and I'll be glad to send you some, my treat!


Now the wind is high and the rain is heavy
And the water's rising in the levee
Still I think of her when the sun goes down
It never goes away, but it all works out

Investing in Hearts

M'dear Dana plays the violin to describe the Angel painting (which thankfully sold)

How's it hangin', homeskillets? I am so happy to be back to yack!
After I took this "I'm all done" break I read about how Aquarians like to take unexpected respites, and I thought, "I resemble that remark!"

The Golden Thread was AMAZING! Super cool awesome! Juicy sweet luscious! It involved a crowd of us throwing 12,000 red rose petals over ourselves in unison. And as Chrysanthie said, "How many years have I been alive? And this is the first time I've felt rose petals falling all over me!" I know that as a person reading this blog, you have sent good vibes and wishes to the show- and I want to say Thanks. Thanks. Really, thanks.

So it's the Sixth Night! Apparently the dollar's going to get dizzy and fall down. But we'll be alright- we're changing our investment strategies. The outdated version of investment is, for example, through the Bank of America apple and all its wormy insides. My friend Lesley told me that Bank of America is owned by the Vatican. Sarah Silverman has a youtube video where she's so excited to tell everyone that she has a solution for world hunger! Just sell Vatican City and there'll be enough money for the dying kids! Brilliant! When I was 12 I read a prophesy by some Catholic followers of Mary. They were really nervous because they heard from the mysterious source (in a picture they took at the scene it looked like a white bird) that the Church would collapse after John Paul II died. They kept telling everyone to pray that the Anti-Christ would be averted. I didn't pray for that, but I did wait to see what would unfold after he left. When I saw a picture of the newly elected Pope Benedict and his spooky face, I thought, "Holy Cow. Holy Cow- here it comes." And man, look at the crumbling. Saw a sign in Granby, Massachusetts saying, "Help Save Saint Elizabeth Church." And of course there's that priest in Wisconsin who got his lover pregnant in the late 80's. He encouraged her to have an abortion, but she didn't want to and had the boy. And now both the young man (his son) and his former lover (son's mom) are dying from cancer. He doesn't keep in touch. But he did send them a card. Religions are like Insurance Companies. They say, "Be afraid. It's Spoooooooooky out there. Bad things could happen! Nothing will be there to help you with bad things if you don't pay us now. We can stop them! Yes we can! Just send money. Credit Cards accepted. Wheee!" But I don't think Blue Cross Blue Shield has stopped enough bad things from happening because they just built a new $7 million building along Dad's commute route to work. He said, "You kind of wonder where all that comes from." I had an account with Bank of America where they used to charge me money for making deposits. Like a modern day indulgence. Pay for your blessings!

Middlemen make life expensive. You notice that? I can get canvases from the factory for 1/3 the price I pay in a retail store. And they haven't been handled- they're crisp clean and new. What a deal! No middleman! I don't know why we're talking about health care reform when all we have to do is cut out the middleman health insurance companies, who siphon off money like the shady guy that steals gas from other kid's tanks in the high school parking lot. Sitting in the pew as the collection basket passes... clink jingle there goes another single... another middleman makes himself a profit.

But then why talk money when we don't know how its value is going to change. We may be receiving and creating a different kind of currency. A new currency that does not support the culture of the charge we've created. One whose frequency of use surpasses our current ability to wire it quickly enough. Once in a hospital bed I was told there was an electrical mistake in my heart. And I believed that for a while until one day I said, "No. Nope nope nope. I will listen so well that it will always be right! Just right for me. I will let it be smarter than anything on the outside!" The most consistent and reliable currency in our lives, in our bodies is The heart the heart! So in the Sixth Night, methinks we invest in hearts. Liquid assets flow in and most consistently like the living sea!